Incredible Dating Advice

Photos seem current and high quality enough.  Check.  Has a cute little dog in the profile photo.  Check. Not flashy.  Dressed casually.  Seems relaxed.  Check. Great smile.  Check. Probably a safe person to talk to, right?  Not in my experience unfortunately.  The photos, despite being quality were over 5 years old. The cute little dog didn't belong to him. Despite the great smile, relaxed portrayal, here's what I discovered when I looked up my match in his county's public records search  Domestic violence Restraining order Violated the restraining order Probation Disorderly conduct Filed a false charge of child abuse Don't skip the detective work!  Do the reverse image search. If  that doesn't work, ask your match for his name and ask where they've lived.  Then go look them up in the county clerk of courts search. If the public records search comes up clean, that still may not be a good indicator this is a safe person.  Ask your friends if they've heard of

Constant communication is a trap.   I learned this the hard way two years ago.  I couldn't figure out how I managed to make myself a target for yet another unsafe person.  And then it dawned on me.  I communicated with him.  I made myself available way too often and didn't set limits.  Well, never again. Constant communication didn't give my brain a break to process all of the information the new person was telling me.  Constant communication didn't give my brain a chance notice the red flags.  Constant communication erased my boundaries that I set for safety.  Constant communication gave the impression I wasn't really an independent woman who had a full life. There's better ways to communicate and it doesn't have to be constantly.  If a person is truly safe, they'll respect your time limits, especially in the beginning.   

  Before You Go On The First Date Follow These Dating Safety Tips 1.        Predators and Unsafe People want all of your time and all of your money   Don’t Give It To THEM! You’re a grown person with an incredible, full life.  My advice is to devote 10 minutes a day to check and return dating app messages.  Conversations can get longer once the next step is complete. Also, Don’t tell strangers your real full name or reveal too much about where you live.  Set this boundary right away - "I'm here for friendship and conversation, because I know from experience a good relationship takes time to develop. " 2.   The background and character check        I made the mistake of skipping both steps 1 and 2 when I was matched to the domestic abuser.         Did you know that most counties offer a free on-line public records search?  Well, they do! And all        you normally need is a first and last name.         Some counties sheriff’s departments also have a public inm