Incredible Dating Advice

Photos seem current and high quality enough.  Check.  Has a cute little dog in the profile photo.  Check. Not flashy.  Dressed casually.  Seems relaxed.  Check. Great smile.  Check. Probably a safe person to talk to, right?  Not in my experience unfortunately.  The photos, despite being quality were over 5 years old. The cute little dog didn't belong to him. Despite the great smile, relaxed portrayal, here's what I discovered when I looked up my match in his county's public records search  Domestic violence Restraining order Violated the restraining order Probation Disorderly conduct Filed a false charge of child abuse Don't skip the detective work!  Do the reverse image search. If  that doesn't work, ask your match for his name and ask where they've lived.  Then go look them up in the county clerk of courts search. If the public records search comes up clean, that still may not be a good indicator this is a safe person.  Ask your friends if they've heard of

While scrolling through Pinterest I came across the article "Online Dating Tips for Women". I wondered if this dating expert's advice would have helped me in 2020.  Would this advice have helped me spot an unsafe match quickly? The answer is no, not right away.  The biggest safety tip missing from this (and most expert's advice) is the background check.   I think the reason a lot of experts won't mention the background check may have something to do with the controversy about whether it's fair to judge people based on their legal history. I don't know about you, but I've learned I'm a zero percent match with a convicted domestic abuser. I'm still recommending the background check EVERY time.  Most county's now offer a free public records background check through their county clerk of courts site.  The best part is the public records search is FREE.  All you normally need is a first and last name.  Keep safe out there!  

I really thought I was bulletproof to unsafe men on dating sites in 2020.   Because I had prepared myself by reading two dating safety books.  One was Love Smart by Dr. Phil McGraw.  The other was Steve Harvey's,  Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man .   So I was feeling confident because then I wrote the strong profile. I established my boundaries.  I talked about what the type of relationship I wanted to have. I was ready with Steve's suggested questions. I spelled out behaviors that were my deal-breakers.  And still 3 unsafe men contacted me.   What. The. HELL? The overall answer is unsafe people don't see themselves as unsafe.   And as a good friend told me, "Some people laugh at personal boundaries.  Oh, you have boundaries? Those are cute.  But, I don't think so."  Two of the men were obviously unsafe.  They called me names and harassed me because I didn't want to engage in conversation.  I solved that by blocking them right away.   O.K.  But why didn&#

  Before You Go On The First Date Follow These Dating Safety Tips 1.        Predators and Unsafe People want all of your time and all of your money   Don’t Give It To THEM! You’re a grown person with an incredible, full life.  My advice is to devote 10 minutes a day to check and return dating app messages.  Conversations can get longer once the next step is complete. Also, Don’t tell strangers your real full name or reveal too much about where you live.  Set this boundary right away - "I'm here for friendship and conversation, because I know from experience a good relationship takes time to develop. " 2.   The background and character check        I made the mistake of skipping both steps 1 and 2 when I was matched to the domestic abuser.         Did you know that most counties offer a free on-line public records search?  Well, they do! And all        you normally need is a first and last name.         Some counties sheriff’s departments also have a public inm