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I Wrote A Strong On-Line Dating Profile. Why Didn't It Work?

I really thought I was bulletproof to unsafe men on dating sites in 2020.  

Because I had prepared myself by reading two dating safety books.  One was Love Smart by Dr. Phil McGraw.  The other was Steve Harvey's,  Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man.  

So I was feeling confident because then I wrote the strong profile.
I established my boundaries. 
I talked about what the type of relationship I wanted to have.
I was ready with Steve's suggested questions.
I spelled out behaviors that were my deal-breakers. 

And still 3 unsafe men contacted me.   What. The. HELL?

The overall answer is unsafe people don't see themselves as unsafe.  

And as a good friend told me, "Some people laugh at personal boundaries.  Oh, you have boundaries? Those are cute.  But, I don't think so." 

Two of the men were obviously unsafe.  They called me names and harassed me because I didn't want to engage in conversation.  I solved that by blocking them right away.  

O.K.  But why didn't Steve's questions give me a hint about the truly unsafe nature of the third guy?
This man was a pro at manipulation as I found out. 
He carefully studied my profile.   
He learned what my deal breakers were.  He knew NOT mention them as the reason his past relationships failed.  
He answered all the Steve Harvey questions perfectly.  

But he wasn't the "easy-going", "really nice guy" he was pretending to be.  Within 6 days, sight unseen, hadn't bee on the first date yet,  he unraveled and blew up when I couldn't match his strong feelings for me. 

Later I found out this man was a serial domestic abuser who had multiple convictions.  One of them being domestic violence.  What was also scary was he never hinted of any past trouble like this. 

I tell you this simply for cautionary reasons.  Sometimes the unsafe people will announce themselves very loudly.  Other times, they'll conceal it.  

If you stick to my dating tips you'll be better protected than I was in 2020.  

Do a free public records background check at the county clerk of courts site. 
Don't commit to strangers right away.
Don't be available for constant communication.

Keep safe out there!








 


  

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