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My advice: Don't Let Them Choose You. You Choose Them.

2 years ago I wrote a strongly worded dating profile. 
I talked about my deal breakers.  Insecurity was the biggest deal-breaker.  Distance was the 2nd.

More than one unsafe man didn't respect my wishes and contacted me anyway.  With one man, I just went with it despite the fact the distance wasn't ideal.  I told myself, "Well, maybe I'm asking for too much?  Maybe I'm being unrealistic?  Maybe this man wants a chance to prove himself!"   And he would.  He would prove how wonderful and charming he could be, SHORT TERM.  

I have since learned it's really important to do the choosing.  When I think about my failed relationships, 100% of the time someone chose me.  

Having said all that, I know not all relationships where a person was "discovered" or "chosen" ended in shooting flames.  I'm not that bitter that I can't acknowledge that.  And good for those couples!

But it doesn't work for me.  And apparently it isn't a good idea for many more women as well.  What helped reinforce my belief about who chooses who, was a study I read on the subject.  It  suggested women did better if she had more control over who she chose to date.

What has been your experience?  Go ahead and comment.  I'm genuinely interested. 







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